Lesson #2: Networking 101
10 steps to networking without the cringe
Networking Has Been Top of Mind Lately
I'm reading books and articles. I'm watching videos and distilling my own experiences.
I've identified 10 tips for those just starting out—or people like me who are really intimidated by everything about networking.
I've come a long way, but not all that long ago, I dreaded networking. Not only for the ick of cold messaging or awkward conversations, where I had to dance the line between selling myself and being of value to others, but also the exhaustion of it all.
And of course, all the worries would flood in:
Was I annoying?
Was I worth the time of someone so busy?
What could I offer them?
What questions do I ask when I don't even know what I don't know?
This list was endless. And I know I wasn’t alone. These are also some of the top worries I hear from others.
So without further ado, let’s get into the fundamentals:
1. We Are All People
This can be the hardest part to wrap your mind around when you're young. But the truth is, adults don’t have it all figured out. It’s not like you reach a certain level in your career and suddenly it’s smooth sailing.
Mid- and senior-level people still worry about layoffs, interviews, switching careers, and yes, annoying people they don’t know.
Despite your reservations, your goal is to connect with people of all levels.
2. Start at Home
Sometimes we can’t see what’s right in front of us. Use LinkedIn (or your preferred tracking tool) and start connecting with the people you interact with daily:
Family
Friends
Classmates (current and past)
Teachers and faculty
Club members
Neighbors
Teammates
Coaches
Managers
Coworkers
Even your favorite barista
The good new is most of these people won’t need much other than the invite. If you are starting to push the boundaries of friend vs acquatence, first off, good, second a friendly little note like, “Hi! Hope you’re well. How’ve you been since [thing you know them from]?”
3. Gamify with Social Media
Most opportunities come from “weak links.” That “someone who knows someone” effect is real. Check out 6 degrees of separation, which states that all people are six or fewer social connections away from each other.
Your challenge is to cast a wide enough net so you have at least third-degree connections to the people and companies you’re targeting.
4. Annoying Someone Isn’t a Reflection of You
Yes, you might annoy someone. But guess what? You’ll also inspire some.
Some people won’t respond, others will light up at the chance to help. Remember we are all people so you will meet all kinds.
They’re all on their own journey—it’s not about you.
5. Make It Personal
People like to be seen and recognized. Congratulate someone on a milestone. Mention a shared interest, mutual friend, or hometown. Or it can simply be a comment on a post they shared or one of the many things they are connected to, or have done.
I recently reached out to someone I heard interviewed on a podcast. I told her I enjoyed her episode, congratulated her on her new book, and asked about her focus before asking if she’d like to collaborate on something.
Guess what! Within an hour, I got a note back with a big thank you and an enthusiastic yes to working together.
A little flattery can go a long way.
6. Know Your Ask
Why are you reaching out?
Is it to learn about a role, get insight into a company, or hear someone’s career journey?
Having an ask increases your chances that they will respond. Figure out why you want to connect with this person and identify one small way for them to help. Making your note personal is like asking a yes or no question; it won’t drive the conversation forward.
Be clear so they know how to respond.
7. Keep It Simple
Make your ask small and easy. A bite-sized question they can answer without research or much effort or a 10-minute chat, can be a great starting point.
You don’t have to leap straight into “Can you refer me?”
8. Thank Them
People like to feel appreciated. I bet you do. So, in the interest of converting your conversation from a one-night stand to a relationship, send them a note of appreciation for their time, help, and wisdom.
Only about 24% of people send thank-you notes. I’ve kept every single one I received as a mentor and intern program director. They are special reminders of my impact through that program.
Want to build relationships? Appreciation matters.
9. Follow Up
Remember those “keep in touch” yearbook notes?
Most people really do mean it.
I know it can feel awkward to reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while or even have a strong relationship with. I won’t pretend that I’m very good with this one. I will say, however, that anytime I get a note out of the blue from someone, I’m excited. It’s really nice to get messages that aren’t about deadlines, more work, or bills.
Follow up, send updates, and keep it light. You’re not bothering anyone. You’re building a relationship.
10. Project Who You’ll Be Tomorrow
Don’t get weighed down by what you aren’t.
Whether it’s no experience, beginner skills, small network, or whatever limiting belief you tell yourself about why they wouldn’t want to talk to you, throw it out.
You’re building a network for future you. You are preparing yourself with a marketing campaign that will help you get seen as the solution to someone else’s problem.
Cause you are!
Let them see the potential.
Bonus Tip: Join Clubs and Communities
This doesn’t have to be a big time commitment. No one is asking you to dedicate X number of hours a week to various groups just so that maybe one day someone from those groups will refer to for your dream role.
You’re just looking for shared interests and ways to connect.
Here’s how I leveraged a free webinar:
Towards the end of the presentation (which included a conversation about reach and connections), Everyone started dropping their LinkedIn links in the chat. I opened profiles and after followed up with personalized messages to those I thought would be good resources, either through learning or connections.
Not only did I get a 100% connection rate, but after a quick call with one, they connected me with a client referral.
I wasn’t even asking!
Our shared interest (webinar) led to a referral.
More Personal Examples
1 tier: While working on the intern program that started it all, I had a loose contact at one of the schools I recruited from. Years later, when I got back into the work, I reached out and she connected me with her replacement. We’ve been collaborating ever since.
2 tiers: Early on in my career, a woman I had been a peer intern with said her team was looking for a new designer. I interviewed but didn’t get an offer. A few months later, Someone from my panel reached out about a new opening on her team. I accepted an offer and worked for her for 6 years.
1 tier: A woman I worked with very briefly remembered me when her friend was looking for a new team lead. Despite not having any experience in the category, I was offered a role to lead one of the largest businesses for this brand.
Ripple Effects: An instructor I had and liked became a dear friend. She is my biggest cheerleader and connector. I am regularly introduced to people with similar goals or interests, which has allowed me to expand my network exponentially. She and I have collaborated on work, and I’ve met several people through her and those she introduced me to, who’ve led me to projects and opportunities.
If you haven’t done much with your LinkedIn, start now.
I challenge you to reconnect with people you’ve known across every part of your life.
Build your web.
You already know more people than you think.
Let’s Build Together
If this resonated with you, share it with a parent, teacher, student, new grad, or young professional. Introduce me to those around you who might be interested in my work.
Better yet, find me on LinkedIn and let’s help each other.
And if you want more bite-sized lessons like this, hit subscribe or check out my mini-lesson series on Substack for paid subscribers. Let’s build your network with intention.
For more on networking, check out Deb Liu’s Substack on the topic.